


Let’s Go Home

by Midge03



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cold, Escape, Experiment, Gen, Home, Mainly Jeongin, Nine or None, Orphans, Water, hyunjin loves jeongin, is it an orphanage or a hospital?, keys, lots of Brotherly Love, sad jeongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22350568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midge03/pseuds/Midge03
Summary: “He wanted to know what had happened too, but he didn’t know himself.”Jeongin wakes up back in his ward, soaking wet and without a clue as to where his eight brothers have gone.
Relationships: OT9, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Stray Kids Ensemble
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: this fic has Woojin in it. Since it’s main theme is nine or none I feel it would ruin the story if I removed him, even though I support nothing of what he did. I’m not going to let someone like him ruin my writing so just read with caution or don’t read at all. Enjoy <3

"Why are you wet Jeongin?"

Jeongin didn't know.

He wanted to know though.

"Jeongin, sit down. Tell me what happened." She'd already asked this. He wanted to, but he didn't know himself. If he'd known he would have told her. She sighed. "I'm going to get you some dry clothes." 

The soaked boy looked up, eyes scanning the ward. Wet, silver moonlight streamed in through the open window, a small breeze causing the curtains to billow. The night looked soft, the sky like velvet, the moon like home. There should have been city lights too, the welcoming hum of civilisation, it was all unfamiliar land; unfamiliar despite the fact that Jeongin had seen it every day of his life out of that window with the billowing the curtains.

The ward should have been familiar too, the nine beds he woke up to see every morning were the same as they ever had been; the grey walls still as grey as they ever had been; the window with the billowing curtains as window like as it ever had been. 

But it was all wrong.

"Jeongin, don't stand near the window, you'll catch a cold." She was already back.

The nurse approached Jeongin, holding his arm and pulling him to a bed- his bed, and seating him down. The boy spread his palms on the sheets, feeling how soft they were, how dry. He started sinking into them slowly, the tangle of thread engulfing him, the corners wrapping him into a parcel. His heavy limbs succumbed to their lure, becoming one with the fabric.

"Don't lie down, you'll make the sheets wet too. Look at that, you already have. Get up," the voice cut through his lull again, it's possessor dragging the sheets off and helping him sit up. She just couldn't leave him alone could she.

"My god, you're shivering." Jeongin looked down at himself and then raised a hand into his view. Oh yeah, he was shivering. In fact, he was shaking violently. Nice of her to point that out. "Tell me what happened while I get you out of these clothes okay?" She kneeled down in front of him and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

One button. 

"Jeongin?"

Two buttons

"Please tell me."

Three buttons.

"Where did you go?"

Four buttons.

"And where are the other boys?"

Other boys.

_Hair flying behind then they ran, laughing and bumping into each other’s shoulders. Their shoes hit the floor, the sound resonating in the younger boy’s ears. Their jackets were crimson and emerald; blurry streaks rushing about him, dragging their fingers along the cold yellow tiles, shaking cans of red colour. One of them handed Jeongin a can and he gazed at it, unsure, before pressing the nozzle. He grinned._

He grinned.

"Jeongin, what are you smiling about?" The boy snapped out of it at hearing the voice. He had smiled? Why had he smiled? “Tell me." 

The nurse had succeeded in undoing his buttons and pulling off half his shirt. She looked up at him.

"I need you to stand up so I can take the rest of your shirt off and dry you." 

Jeongin stood up, leaving the softness of the bed beneath him. The nurse peeled the rest of his shirt off, dropping it to the floor and rubbing a towel over his torso. The towel was soft too, and a little dryer than the bed. The nurse touched his arm.

"You're freezing Jeongin, let me get you a hot water bottle." Finally something warm.

She pulled a t-shirt over his head and put some pyjama bottoms in his hand, commanding him to put them on as she went to heat up the water.

The boy looked down at himself. The water had mostly drained off into puddles across the floor but the heavy material of the jeans he wore still clung to his legs. Maybe she'd let him sleep in peace if he took them off. 

So he did, gripping the waistband and pulling them down. He felt warmer without them. Kicking them away from his feet, he reached for the dry pyjama, unfolding it and holding them to the top of his waist. They were slightly big for him, but he would still wear them.

As he started to inch them on, the nurse came back in, clutching a purple bottle.

"Jeongin. Don't put it on yet, your legs are still wet. Let me dry them quickly." She scurried over, putting the bottle down on the wet bed and pulling the towel out of the boy's grasp. Why did she have to be so meticulous, couldn't she just leave him be and let him go to sleep? Jeongin sat back down, his palm falling on the hot bottle.

_They held their palms out to the fire, the hot flames trying to lick at their skin and scald it away. But they were too quick for it, snapping their hands back as soon as they had buried them in, laughing at the way they were beating the fire at it's own game. One of the boys handed round glass bottles with clear liquid sloshing in them. The bottles were green and cool, but the liquid burned more than the blaze as it streamed down his throat. His tongue felt dry now; he would need another sip to fix that. Lifting the bottle to his lips once more, he drank. Still dry. Another sip- another- another; all of it streaming down his throat till the world spun. The boys around him were coughing, laughing and coughing and sipping from their own green glass bottles. There was chatter too; joyful words being exchanged from grinning mouths. Who knew a smile could be so easy._

"You're dry now Jeongin, put these on and go to sleep." The nurse put the trousers back in his hands and left. "Call me if you need anything."

He knew what he needed; he needed to sleep, and not put on those trousers because it would take longer to get to sleep.

_A hand shaking him out of his sleep_

Jeongin lay down on the damp sheets, closing his eyes

_A string of keys_

Sleep. He needed to sleep

_A group of boys shoving into a convenience store, grabbing bottles and cigarettes_

If he slept then he would escape her asking him what had happened 

_Red letters scrawled across a tiled yellow wall_

He wanted to know what had happened too

_Empty green bottles in a pile next to the smoulders_

But he didn't know himself

_Knots of grey smoke rising high above his head_

If he did he would have told her

_Streetlights twinkling underneath him for the first time_

But he couldn't remember 

_A cliff_

He couldn't remember 

_Their hands connected in a chain_

He couldn't remember 

_The rush of wind as he felt the ground give way_

He couldn't remember 

_Water. Cold, cold water_

Why couldn't he remember 

_Bodies thrashing; a vice grip on his hands not letting him go_

He sat up.

Now he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl this was inspired by a school writing prompt


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw the italics are Jeongin’s memories

"Why aren't you asleep Jeongin?"

Jeongin knew.

He didn't want to know though.

He thought he'd have told her if he'd known but he couldn't now. Not now that he couldn't speak, consumed by memories of that very evening.

"Jeongin. Jeongin talk to me." No.

Leave me alone.

"Please Jeongin."

Go away.

"You'll make yourself sick like this."

Maybe if he willed her to leave hard enough she just might.

A sigh

"Fine, I'll leave you alone."

Thank you.

The nurse's footsteps echoed into the distance, leaving Jeongin alone as he’d wanted.

Alone without the moon to talk to, no longer sending in beams of silver moonlight. Alone with the too familiar beds and the too familiar walls. Alone with night sky; hard and jeering. Alone without his hyungs who should have been in the eight other beds lined up against the grey walls of the ward. 

Alone

He shouldn't have been alone though, he should have been with them. Why did they leave him when they promised: "Nine or none." 

No; he had left them, even after his promise of not letting go. Why had they made that promise though? Where had it come from? 

_"Chan hyung, what are those?"_

_Chan looked down at the string on his palm; the string on which dozens of glinting, silver keys were threaded._

” _Keys. Jisung I think these are the keys to all the doors."_

_"Where- where did you find them?" a brown haired boy stammered, eyes wide._

_"I-I don't know. I think I just picked them up off the floor from somewhere."_

_"Check them, check if they're real and not just one of Hyunjin's pranks."_

_"Okay."_

_Chan moved closer to where Jeongin was watching them through the small gap between the ajar door. The red haired boy slid away quickly, heart beating. As he walked, he heard the jingling of the metal and Jisung exclaim excitedly: "They're real"._

That was where. That was how it had all started; by chance.

Turning over in his quilt, Jeongin looked at the bed next to him.

_Turning over in his quilt, Jeongin looked at the bed next to him. On it lay a boy with a mop of silver hair covering his closed eyes. He was breathing softly, fast asleep._

_"Hyunjin hyung." Jeongin reached over and shook the sleeper, trying to rouse him from his oblivion. The second boy's eyes fluttered open and he gave a gentle smile when his eyes fixed on the younger._

_"Hey Jeongin. Can't sleep?"_

_"No, come lie with me."_

_Stretching, Hyunjin quietly untangled himself from his sheets and hopped over the cold floor into Jeongin's bed, hastily pulling the quilt over his long limbs. He turned to face the redhead, tangling his legs with the other's and reaching out to brush the hair from his face._

_"What're you thinking my baby, hmm?" Jeongin didn't respond, instead basking in the warmth his hyung had brought with him._

_"Jeongin?"_

_"Oh- uhm... well-"_

_"Tell me. No hiding things okay?" Hyunjin looked deep into the younger's eyes._

_"Well, I saw Jisung and Chan hyung with a set of keys earlier- keys to all the doors here." Hyunjin stopped stroking the speaker's hair._

_"For real?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh my god, let me ask them what they're going to do with them." Hyunjin took the quilt off his long limbs, rising._

_"No hyung, I wasn't supposed to be watching them. If they want us to know they'll tell us." Jeongin reached out, pulling down the silver haired boy. The latter put his head down on the pillow gruffly, pouting._

_"Don't be sad hyung," said Jeongin, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Hyunjin took the pout off his face._

_"If you say so angel."_

His cheeks were wet now, the warm, salty water making home on his pillow. His heart finally hurt, in a gentle, throbbing way. There was a grip on it, squeezing it lightly and making it beat in an odd manner; a little higgledy piggledy. He was sad, but he was happy too. Happy that his mind had recorded the moment and kept it safe from harm. Happy that he had remembered a moment with his favourite hyung. 

Jeongin wiped the tears away from his cheeks, blinking away the blurry vision they brought with them and turning over to face another bed; the neatest bed in the room. All the corners of the pale pink sheets were tucked in perfectly with not a crease to be seen.

_Jeongin watched Hyunjin jump onto the perfectly tucked in, creaseless pale pink sheets through hazy morning eyes._

_"Hyunjin! Can you never let me do my bed in peace?" cried Seungmin, flinging his pillow down._

_"Never mind the bed Minnie, listen to this." The tall boy leaned nearer to the brunette's ear and whispered something in._

_"Chan and Jisung found the keys?" Seungmin said in hushed disbelief._

_"Yep, Jeongin told me last night. He saw them- but they don't know he did. He won't let me ask them."_

_"And for good reason I'm sure. You keep your mouth shut now Hwang Hyunjin, until they tell us themselves," Seungmin said, brushing back his excitement hastily. Hyunjin made a grumpy face. "And get off my bed please."_

_"No."_

_Seungmin_ _grabbed the lanky boy by his collar and pulled him onto the floor. "There."_

Jeongin almost smiled. Their cat and mouse antics had never been so soothing to him. Maybe it was because his heart hurt more than it ever had before or maybe because he realised that it would never happen again. They were almost the same thing though weren't they? If they resulted in the same palpitations in his chest then they had to be. 

Right?

Right? 

Right?

.

.

.

_"Guys, come here. We want tell you something." Chan beckoned to all the boys as they got ready for bed one night. Seungmin gave Hyunjin a knowing look while Felix, Woojin and Minho ambled over, thinking nothing of it. Jeongin moved over to Hyunjin._

_"You told Seungmin didn't you?" He tried his best to be firm, no matter how unbothered he was about it. Hyunjin gave a guilty grin._

” _You knew I would."_

_"...true..."_

_The boys clambered onto the two bed's on either side of Chan's own; Jisung's and Changbin's. And by the looks of it, Changbin had already been told about the keys._

_"So, um..." Chan fiddled about with his words for a bit, trying to find the right words before Jisung took it upon himself; jumbling in his pockets and taking out the glinting, threaded metal Jeongin had expected._

_"Are those keys?" exclaimed Minho, eyes wide. "Let me see."_

_Jisung, handed them to him gently. The older boy held them up to eye level, shaking them and listening to the sound._

_"You guys hear that?" he said, face lit up. "It's music- that's what it is." Felix also leaned closer to the light brown hair of the older boy, peering over his head to look at the first freedom they had ever seen._

_"You think we can leave?" he said, quiet with awe._

_"We can, I'm sure we can, but we need to be careful. Right Chan?" said Woojin calmly, looking over at him._

_"I had an idea you see," started Chan, "But I wanted to run the concept of leaving through you guys before I thought any further. You seem to be fine with it right?"_

_"You know we are and always have been Chan," stated Hyunjin._

_"Because... you see..." Chan was nervous about telling them his idea, and that was worrying Jeongin. The keys he had seen coming but this plan might hold a few surprises in it._

_"Well, if we just leave, they'll find us. You know they will. They did before..." Chan trailed off, absentmindedly rubbing the scar on his shoulder. Everyone shuffled uncomfortably. "They'll hurt us all if they catch us, and our chances of escaping free are zero to none."_

_They'll hurt us... Jeongin couldn't stop the images of a twelve year old Chan flash by, hanging from chains, his face almost glassy, stark against the crimson liquid staining a maze of raw lashes on his back. Jeongin shuddered, eight again and crying in Hyunjin's arms at the cruelty and unfairness of this place. All nine of them had tried to climb out of the window, but they were only hurting Chan- only him to show the rest what would happen, to make it hurt for the boys more than if they were in there with him._

_Hyunjin put a hand on Jeongin's head softly, reading his mind. "Don't worry, it won't happen again. We're cleverer now," he whispered soothingly, quiet enough so that no one heard him._

_"Yeah..." Jeongin had faith in Chan, he'd get them through this without those consequences. He looked back up, eyes focusing on the elder while avoiding his shoulder._

_"What I'm saying is, we can't run away and live," he concluded, a grim expression settling on his face._

_"What? You mean you're saying we run away and die?" asked Minho incredulously._

_"Yes," said Changbin, speaking for the first time that night. "Yes we are."_

_A silence fell over the room, filling in every nook and cranny as the boys digested the full meaning of Chan's words. They had to die if they wanted to be free? Jeongin had never thought of anyone here dying, the place they lived in was, ironically, so absent of death that it wasn't a concept he could grasp._

_"H-how do we die then?" stuttered Felix. Neither Chan nor Jisung would look him in the eye, so Changbin had to take it upon himself to tell them._

_"We kill ourselves."_

_Silence._

_"We can not do this you know, it's just an idea," said Chan._

_More silence._

_And then: "No, we should do this. It'll be a huge blow for them right? It's the best revenge we can get. This whole project, their existence, it all depends on us. If we leave in a way we can't come back, they'll be finished," said Minho, determined._

_"I-I agree," said Felix quietly._

_"Me too," said Seungmin, looking out of the window. "If we get to be there just once, I can die happy." The three who had proposed the plan gave slight smiles, but still seemed unsure at the extremity of the idea._

_"Jeongin," said Chan, "What do you think?"_

_Jeongin knew he had to be careful with his words. He had veto power here. No one had given it to him but it had just been established over the years; if their precious maknae didn't like an idea then they wouldn't dream of carrying it out._

_"I'm fine with it."_

_"Really?" said Chan, his face brightening just a notch._

_"Y-yeah." Jeongin gave a forced smile. He didn't know if he was fine with it yet, he didn't see anything wrong with the way they lived right now, as long as they had each other. They were confined and suffocated yes, but they weren't miserable to the point where they didn't want to live. Escaping had always been a fantasy, a game they'd play for fun, a concept which they never taken too seriously. Well, not after the window incident at least. But who was he to judge, if his hyungs wanted to taste the world then so be it._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet dreams Jeongin

_It was a crisp, dreary morning. Jeongin watched the fragile, dead leaves tumble down off the tree and through the air, down down onto the carpet of grass. He couldn't tell the sky apart from the walls inside, it was all grey. Grey and- Jeongin looked up at the figure obstructing his view.  
_

_It was Chan, bending over to check if the younger was awake, his shaggy blonde hair blocking the view of the weeping tree._ _"Okay good, you're up. Get dressed quickly, we're leaving soon," Chan instructed, walking away to shake Hyunjin into the day._

_Jeongin sat up slowly, becoming aware of the fact that this was the last time he would ever be able to do so. This was the last window gazing morning, the last time he would drag the pale pink sheets off his body and the last time he would stand on the cold floor, watching his hyungs bustle about. Well, there wasn't any bustling today. Today was quiet and contemplative, no Minho jumping onto Jisung's bed and no Seungmin scolding Hyunjin over his sheets. Everyone was drinking the room in, the place they had grown up. Jeongin stared at the walls again, disappointed at how stoic they were. Maybe he had expected them to hug him and tell him not to leave, or shed a few tears. The fact that they wouldn't miss him, no matter whether he'd miss them or not, hit the young boy hard. Would he even be able to miss them when he died? What happened when they died?_

_"Guys," he started, "What happens to us when we die?" The boys abruptly halted their activities at these words. Felix paused tying his laces and Hyunjin stopped dragging his shirt on midway. Woojin and Changbin cut off their conversation and Seungmin stopped_ _pulling at his sheets, his face stiffening._

_"I don't know Jeongin, none of us do." He turned around, giving the maknae a sorry smile. "But let's live the freedom for now yeah? Forget the death." Jeongin nodded, unassured._

_Once all the boys were ready, they headed over to the door, pushing it open and filing out into the familiar, skeletal corridor. They'd been raised here, in these four rooms. The ward where they slept, the dining room where they ate, the classroom in which they'd studied and the bathrooms where they'd cursed the cold water far too many times._

_"Remember when Minho was seven and he found a ladybird and he put it in a plate of stew so it could eat and it drowned?" said Woojin, laughing a little at the memory. Jeongin had been too young back then to remember but some of the older boys gave wry laughs._

_"And when Felix was four and ended up on top of the bookshelf?" Only Chan and Woojin smiled at this._

_"And when Changbin was twelve and went missing and everyone thought he was dead but he turned out to be under the teacher's desk asleep." They all remembered this._

_"Do you guys want to... not leave maybe?" said Chan hesitantly, a fondness in his tone. The boys all mulled over his proposition._

_"No," Jisung cut through. "We are not turning back. Don't forget how horrific the people are here. They tortured Chan; they tore away ten years of Changbin's memories for an experiment; they starved Felix to see how long he'd last before he almost died. We are not going to stay and help their oh so holy cause. Not for anything."_

_Jisung stood his ground, motivating the rest. Jeongin too finally found himself convinced that they had to leave, not because they were miserable, but because they were not animals to be bred for experiments._

_"Well, lets get out of here then," said Chan grabbing the keys from his pocket, all doubt gone. They walked over to the steel door at the end of the corridor. Chan matched the number on the door with one on a key and slid it in, holding his breath before turning it. The door clicked open, swinging out to reveal another corridor, identical to their own. But it was bigger, and had many more rooms leading off it as well as a staircase._

_Jeongin didn't know what he'd imagined to be beyond the mile of steel but it definitely hadn't been another miserable corridor to push past._

_"Don't you think there'd be more people around? Maybe some security guards?" asked Hyunjin, peering down the staircase which they had approached._

_"It's early, no one shows up till midday. And it's the nurses' day off remember?"_

_"Ah, clever Chan. You timed it like this on purpose," said Hyunjin, impressed._

_"It doesn't take a genius Hyunjin, you're just dumb," said Jisung, giving him a nudge._

_"Quieten down guys. And I think there's no guards because their security is supposedly impenetrable," Chan continued._

_"Yeah, but not impenetrable for a tiny piece of metal..." Seungmin trailed, gazing at the corridor._

_"Whoever dropped them is probably going to be dead by tomorrow," Jisung stated._

_"They probably deserved it..." Minho mumbled._

_"Aish guys, this isn't a field trip, calm down. Now let's take this staircase, it'll lead us to the ground," Woojin said, starting to tip toe down the stairs. The rest of the boys silenced, hastening to follow him._

_The further down the stairs they got, the more suffocated Jeongin started to feel. It was the same bleak corridors and white lights and steel doors everywhere; there didn't seem to be an outside to reach. Maybe there wasn't, maybe this was what the world was; that view from the window just a pixelated painting. It was making Jeongin anxious and by the time they'd gone down eight floors, he just wanted to go back. His hyungs, however, were getting more excited with every passing second. When they'd hear a foreign voice or footstep, they'd jump back and hide like it was a game and the youngest boy soon enough concluded that they'd forgotten how formidable the consequences would be; they were high off adrenaline._

_"Hey, do you think there's more people here like us?" asked Jisung suddenly._

_"No, it's only us, but I overheard some nurses a few years back talking about how the project might get some more kids in once we all reached our twenties," Changbin replied warily- he also seemed slightly concerned about the others' attitudes._

_"Well there'd have still been a few years, our Jeonginnie isn't growing up any time soon," said Hyunjin, ruffling the younger's hair and giving him a crescent moon smile. Jeongin swatted his hand away, feigning a hurt expression._

_"Guys, be quiet. I think we're at the bottom," Felix said, waving his hands to hush the group. Jeongin looked up, and that was when he felt it; he felt the suffocation lift off his chest, like a shackle had been loosened, giving his heart space to breathe, to actually beat._

_There was sunlight, so much sunlight, streaming in through the windows making up the walls of this room. It ran to him, tickling his senses and caressing his face, causing a warmth to bloom on his skin._

_So this was what light was; warm and friendly and just everywhere, not trying to squeeze through the gap he had used to call a window. That was a mere slit compared to these glinting panes of glass._

_"Wow," whispered Jisung, "To think I thought that I knew what sunlight was." The boys gave nods of agreement, eyes not leaving the view the windows framed._

_"I can't stand in here a second more," said Chan after a few moments, heading right over to the glass doors and fitting another key in it, turning it until he heard another click. "You guys ready?"_

_"Hell yeah, let's go see what fresh air feels like." They gave a small cheer as Chan pushed the door open and they stepped out._

_And oh, it was just glorious. The sweet perfume of the grass took over Jeongin's senses, filling his soul and leaving it tingling as the waiting sunshine fully embraced him. A small breeze ran it's fingers through the ecstatic boy's hair, skirmishing with the sunshine and winning, taking away the warmth on his skin and replacing it with it's own buzzing chill._

_Jeongin was floating, his own feelings of elation lifting him off the ground and up into the periwinkle sky to dance with the birds as they sang their song of freedom._

_"Right now I feel like all those years cooped up might have been worth it, just for this moment," said Hyunjin gazing at the sky and bringing Jeongin down from his high. The latter took a deep breath, filling his lungs with oxygen so pure it was almost liquid._

_"Yeah, I think so too." The two boys looked over to their friends who were all basking in the warmth, running around ecstatically. The scene made Jeongin realise that he could now die happily, without a care in the world. His hyungs were happy, and so was he._

_It took a few minutes for the mirth to subdue, and when it did, the breathless boys gathered in a circle to listen to what Chan had to say._

_"Guys, pull out your money, lets see how much we have," he instructed. The boys shoved their hands into their pockets, fishing out the coins and notes they'd collected from under their beds that morning. Jeongin did too, rattling about till his hand came up, clutching the small pile of minted discs he'd collected over the years._

_The nurses were the only kind people they'd come across in their building; they would patch up any acquired wounds, break up fights, calm them down, make sure they ate well and slipped them coins when they lost a tooth or did well on a test. Those coins had built up from childhood till now and, as Chan counted their reserve, all the boys realised how generous their nurses had been._

_"Woah, that's quite a bit. I don't think I'll have to do any stealing today," Felix said._

_"Like you would have been able to Lix, someone would just catch you and that loud mouth of yours," said Minho_

_"Hey!" Felix reached out and flicked Minho on the forehead, to which the older just grinned cheekily._

_"My god, you rowdy things. Save the games for when we get somewhere safer." The two boys untangled themselves from each other and started following Chan down the green hill which led to the distant city din._

_Jeongin took one look back, absorbing the exterior of the cave he'd been raised in, and he couldn't help the slight throb in his heart of leaving behind the only place he'd known. The throb, however, wasn't anything compared to the excitement building up in the pit of his stomach and he turned away, regarding it no more, eyes on the city he he'd never known existed and never knew he'd live, even if it was just for a day._


	4. Chapter 4

Jeongin shot up, heart thumping and grappling at his ribs. It contorted, seeping through his bones and melting into every crevice of his body, taking each emotion he felt with it until his whole body was sore with white hot memories. Tears flowed down his cheeks; scorching tears of blood and salt burning away his skin as his lungs were torn apart by wracking sobs. Why had he let go of Jisung's hand if this was the other option? Why had he had to lose his memory at the most crucial time? Why was he alone?

He couldn't take it. How was he to sleep again if, like this, all he'd dream of was them? How was he to eat alone in the middle of a hollow dining room. He thought he'd been missing the place when the first left but that wasn't it. It wasn't this building he'd grown up in; it was in his hyungs' arms. It wasn't the building he'd made memories in; it was in his hyungs' presence.

That's why he needed to go back to them. He needed to go back home.

The sobs gradually diminished as Jeongin made his mind up. Tugging at his sleeves, he patted his face dry, a determination pulling all his loose parts together. He knew what he was going to do, now he just needed a plan. He took a deep, shaky breath.

First, he had to let the nurse know what was going on; he'd promised it, even if it had merely been in his head. 

Turning to his bedside table, Jeongin tugged a drawer open a pulled out a notebook and pen. He flipped through to an unused page and put the nib of his pen down, realising then how he didn't exactly have the words to put the situation into. As he watched the ink bleed across the paper, he formulated a sentence in his head. Many sentences, actually, but none of them were good enough. Eventually he decided on something short and sweet.

Folding the paper, the red haired boy stood up, planting his feet on the ground and jangling through his jean pockets for the keys he had been given. He found them, pulling them out, a sadistic grin creeping over his features. 

This was it.

-

As Jeongin stood at the end of the cliff, he closed his eyes, letting the memories of spray painted subways, bitter cigarettes and their final rebellion wash over him. His cheeks were flushed with the cold and hot with adrenaline. Sirens wailed in the distance and torch lights fell upon him; the nurse must have read his note already, but that was perfect. Now they could watch their life’s work crumble right in front of them. 

Tuning out the shouts behind him, he recalled Chan's final words, right before they'd thrown themselves to the mercy of the sea.

"Let's go home yeah?"

Jeongin smiled as he peered down into the shimmering water. "Yes, Hyung, I'm coming home." 

And with that, he stepped forward into the inky oblivion and right into his Hyungs' waiting embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Curtains close*


End file.
